I’m going to make it short tonight, because I want to just spend the last bits of this evening not reflecting on the days and events that have unfolded recently.
First and foremost, Willa’s MRI results came back and we were told that she has no tumors or growths in or on her brain! Such a praise! After she had just come out of sedation and I was feeding her, Steven nudged me to ask the Lord specifically that there wouldn’t be anything more found in the MRI(this was hours before we were given any results). I started crying. “I’m scared to ask!” …I know that literally hundreds of people have been praying for our sweet Willa. In boldness there are masses going to the throne and pleading with Him for specifics. And I was scared to ask. But, it only took my husband’s nudging to prompt me to ask Abba Father for what was truly on my heart. I want prayer to always feel like climbing up onto His lap and wrapping my arms around his neck. I think it starts with not fearing to tell Him the desires of our hearts.
I don’t want to overlook how incredible it is and how amazing it feels to know the MRI results and be surrounded by the warm hug of an answered prayer. I really want to let the relief sink in and be saturated by His goodness, overcome with thankfulness. Thank you for praying with us! Thank you for asking boldly of the King, even if some of you were scared to approach Him with specific pleads. Thank you!
Tomorrow morning at 7:30 am Central time, Willa will be in surgery to have her eye removed. I don’t know what much else to say, because I don’t know what to expect. On the one hand, I’m extremely grateful that the tumor will be gone….and on the other, I am mourning the loss of her beautiful eye and already worrying about how long it might possibly take me to get over myself and my discomfort. I want to immediately be so familiar with Willa’s new change that I don’t even flinch for a second.
After the tumor is removed it will be tested for genetic purposes, as well as to make sure the cancer has not spread elsewhere. This was new news to us. The MRI didn’t show any other tumors, but it did tell us that the tumor she does have is so big that it is right on the line, just big enough to raise a red flag. They have to make sure it didn’t cross the “eye boundary”…..This is the most sense I can make out of what Willa’s doctor was saying. From what I understood today, there’s a 50% chance the cancer has spread and if it has, Willa will have to start chemo. There’s also a 50% chance the cancer is contained within her right eye and once it’s removed we just keep returning to St. Jude for exams to check for any future growths.
We won’t find out what pathology finds in the tumor for about a week after tomorrow’s surgery. We will have returned to Johnson City by then, so we will receive a phone call with these results. More waiting….
God threw us over a huge hurdle today and I want to rest in thanksgiving. Grace, thanksgiving, joy. Eucharisteo.